keep it together

never been in my life being this crazy..arghhh!!!first time rs xtentu arah dia xder...i mean dia ada tp im not connected with him..yela dah brp ari dah call xansw text xreply...smp la ptg td

hahhah the funny story is xpnh dalam idup wat keje giler cam ptg td punya dah xbetul dah xleh pkr pape dah td...nnk suh gi kedai tlg belikan panadol joint n muscle tu pastu kat umah ni punya la xder t-shirt pkai la blaus gi kedai ...gi la 7-e..pastu mintk abg tu panadol pastu dia tanya panadol period pain nyer ker..pastu ak terpikir...nmpk selekeh sgt ker ak ni ..xper la ms nk buka pintu nk kuar dr 7-e ada makcik ni tegur br pas kalah judi ...ker???ak dah pelik tgk kat cermin rupanya pkai bj terbalik!!!serious shit!!! ak xtau punya la malu ....jln jugak la dlm hati ni tuhn je tau camner malu ak time tu...dr rumh pikir sal dia kowt xpikir lgsg ak selekeh ker bj ak k ker??nsb baik bj tu itam so xder la ramai sgt nmpk cuba bygkan kalo ak pkai bj putih ker or something yg cerah mmg lari ak blk umh damn!!

kul 6 lbh td ker kul 7 ak cb gak la give him a call eventhough tau dia xkan pick up skali dia angkat gembira nk mati ak dibuatnyer hahahah speechless giler ak td tibe2 nangis jer ak dia dah pelik pujuk2 ak ler jgn nangis huhuh sedih la!!ak ingt ak dah ilang dia dah..then he said dia xilang cuma bz jer...


then after that i call zhafir one of my bestfwen ...kitrg skola sama2 kat usj 4 knl ngn masa form 5 nway ...i give him a call tp he dint answ pastu br dia call ak blk ...nway sbnrnyer nk citer sal bdk kecik kat dia ...pe dah jd btween us la kan ...then he advice me something eventhough ak dah tau tp ak xnk pikir cam yg dia pikir skrg biar ak rs manisnyer to fall in love with someone first nway i tell him about dispearing of bdk kecik n then the only thing dia advice ak is that sume tu alasan lama je tu jgn nk caya sgt..but i dont want to think negatively eventhough dah bnyk laki dah wat camtu kat ak ..but i dont think bdk kecik will do that to me..ight bdk kecik...but if u did..nk watcamner ...guys nvr appreciate me...

nway pape pun thank u so much zhafir for always be there 4 me....

it is hard

love is hard ...hard to keep hard to find...
ssh nyer la kalo dah bercinta xbercinta pun ssh
hilang nyer dia sehari smlm mcm ilang 10 tahun rasanyer call pg td pun xangkt2
smlm call pun dpt ckp kejap jer
hmmmm..rindu la!!!

kdg2 sedih pun ada bila dia xder...terpikir kat diri ni ...."teruk sgt ke ak ni"..selalu alami bnd yg sama jer dr laki ..rs xdihargai pun ada..hmmm ntahla...
mgkn ak yg terlalu cerewet kowt slalu xkene jer pe yg laki wat kat ak ..mrh2 tu yg laki bosan ngn ak

hohoho

what a happy news !!holiday is around!! hohoho.....
xder bnd yg happy sgt pun coz me n bdk kecik xjd gi melaka...sedihnyer...dah plan dah dah berangan dah nk ddk kat hotel tu coz dia book hotel ada view cam kat venice!!!tp xper la xder rezeki kowt nk watcamner kan ....smlm jer marah dia sal dia lambat cancel kan hotel 2ari lps marah dia lagi coz dia xreti2 nk contact ak dah ...but everytg dah ok dah mlm smlm huhuh... so next time jgn wat i mara k...jgn nk moody sgt :P
rindu la pulak nk tgk dia dah lama xskype ngn dia uhuhu...dia yg bz sgt ak xder pun bz cam dia huhu

hello??

np u xpick up the phn
r u mad at me
pls ... dont tell me u r mad at me
u????
if u keep on silent
i will silent forever
.............
nyte

when things are gone

people would never appreciate n never know how to appreciate things n something that valuable until they had lost it...this is my advice to all my fwen n anyone that read this ....dont experienced what i had been through ....its not im the one that dint appreciate things but people around me or someone that i used to love never appreciate what i've done....

sgt menyedihkan bila hati ni ak bg kat someone yang betul2 ak sayang tp xpenah nk jaga ati ak ... bkn senang hati yang pedih and dah terluka nk ubat balik .... dah la masa ak serahkan hati ni kat ko ..time tu sume benda ak sangup wat pe jer tuk ko...walaupun ak masih lagi leh pikir secara waras xder la gile kemaruk ngn cinta pun tp stillllllll......pape ak wat pape gerak geri ak ..ak slalu ingt ko .....sampai satu masa ko mmg dah bosan ngn ak ...ko nk cr someone yg kononnyer lagi better dari ak ...lagi lawa...lagi sedap tuk ko fuck!! ak blah jela...nk wat pe lagi give my heart to you its no use...coz i deserve better...my heart deserve better to give to someone yg sgt hargai n tau nk jaga ati ak...n now br nk menyesal n nk rs rindu kat ak ....br nk tanya bile ak nk blk lagi..???!!!

i know u good looking guy...hot for every girl to go to....but remember..how good u r kalo xtau nk jaga ati org ..xtau nk hargai benda yg valuable xguna gak...ight???

p/s: im talking bout someone that was exist in my past eventually not my new ex...bdk kecik ....jgn marah tau <3 u!!!huhu thanks coz xbosan ngn kerenah i ni lagi hehehe

hmmm.. nak nangis!!

xtau la np asyik xdek mood jer ari ni ..maybe sbb demam xbaik2 lagi kowt or..dlm ati ni dah tau yg xdpt gi melake...hmm...ntah la..bila pikir blk kan xcpt sgt ker ak ni make a move dlm in relationship eh...tibe2 rasa cam dia dah mula bosan ngn ak jer..hmmm..ntah la bila xder mood mula pikir cam2 ..tul x???????

psl gi melake tu ..rs nyer kene hold dulu la...cam xdiizinkan tuk gi jer...dah mcm2 halangan jer ni...takut biler gi ..menyesal bnd lain lak...bkn xnk jmp dia tp rsnyer bkn masa nyer lg nk berholiday kowt..huhu..ntahla...conclusion????xtau la nk gi ke x...


hahah funny thing he said today.....
the world stop when he hear my voices...really??haahah

WHat a suPRiSe!!

huhu happy nyer ..hehe br pas ckp ngn dia 2 minutes ago nway yg suprise nyer adalah i receive unexpected call xder la happy coz of receive that call pun tp things mcm dah change la ...n i never knew i have guts n finnally over la...so guess who ...its my ex... i will never tell about what his name but for sure that kitrg dah lama kowt together since form 4 know each other eventhough slalu cpl break cpl break...n i think today its officially kitrg dah xder pape... (u jgn jealous lak bc) nway here it goes...pkl 230 td camtu ah ada miss call from him then i just give a sms tanya
syida: np....pastu xreply dia call lg ..pelik dah call bnyk kali ingt emergency ke pe td pastu call la dia ...then
him: u da jual mahal eh
me: sbb i ada org lain..
him: amin
me:tq..
him: smga bahagia.Hee
me: hehe tq..fwen k?
punya lama nk reply kul 4.32 br reply
him: no thanks.nk tgk u da ada bf je.blehla blah pasni.dun call my house anymre.i wanna brng my new gurl to my fam.tq.bye.
so i pun xreply la... the moral of the story is jgn la trust guy on something that is important to u ...kan 'bdk kecik'???hehe u know what i meant kan ...

sometimes tu terpikir gak la kan mmg dia ni dah lama xder prsn kat aku kowt sbb sesuke hati jer nk lps ak kat laki lain but never mind... the important things here n now is that i had found someone that can love me n appreciate me more than he can do!! LOVE U BDK KECIK!!!!

sorry tau i mara2 u aritu dua ari i mara2 u ...bkn per kdg2 i tersensitive sket k ...huhu meow!!

the 2nd july of 2011

what an awesome time!!no a blast!!huhu happy giler arinie ...heheh...kan 'bdk kecik'...hehe k la the story begins when i arrive to pekeliling jln smp xnmpk org then letak beg at simpan beg tu which only cost Rm3 then gi kat metro nyer station to buy a ticket nk blk nnt then tgh2 beratur ni nk beli tiket i give him a call nk tanya kat ner..
syida: u kat ner???
bdk kecik: i kat sebelah u!!
when i turn around i saw something tall haha its him!!!holding my bus ticket!! huhuh
seriously never thought that he would be that tall so then we both smiling n smiling shy2 cat la konon nyer huhu then we off to TS...grab a lunch at ...

so we order peach tea for myself n mango juice for him n nasi goreng ayam n some sort of keuh teow kung fu ..xingt ler...huhu

then after we had done lunch n tons of picture taken hehe...kitrg pun jln2 SHOPG!!!

dia jer dah dua bj kan 'bdk kecik' hehe...i satu bj jer :P
then kirg dah penat jln2 kitrg gi mkn icecream!!!

really i had fun ...owh i forgot the most important thing hehe talk on the phone about 15 min kowt im in the bus dia luar bas cuma hlg kitrg cermin bus tu jer ngn wat muka bagai org sebelah dia tu tgk jer hehe.. dlm lrt xnk citer ler ...heheh nk smpn 4 myself n what had happen be4 bllk hehe MALU LA U!!!

oh yah before i go thank u so much !!i had a blast hehe rs cam nk stay je ngn u ..huhu

goodnyte...

wow!!

wow bestnyer that girl !!
smlm gi kdai mkn at maran mkn chicken chop!!
xkenyg kan mkn spagetti smlm ..haha first time msk hangus bergayut kat phn 2jam nyer pasal ..huhu back to my story just now...smlm time mkn rmai giler bdk2 coz ada bola m'sia vs. taipei ...k then ms kul 10 camtu ada bunch of group ni dia mkn2 gak dpn kitrg skali ada fwen dia dtg bw cake...singing along birthday song pastu bw big teddy bear as a hadiah!!best giler!!! xpnh dlm idup org wat camtu eventhough dah biasa tgk org wat camtu tp kat diri sendiri ssh tul nk celebrate beday...huhu nway chicken chop yg mkn smlm share ngn masyitah k la...sdp gak...

k arini call dah byk kali xangkat lak..k fine i will just keep quite then ...hmmm...
skt ati tul..lain kali jgn wat lg tau u!!!kalo ada ko make sure u let me know yg u xleh bw phn huhu ni pict yg u nk tu:

off to fashion!!

how jealousy i am watching other people pict with an awesome clothes n a new fashion line in their wardrobe!!! its all u can get if u had a lot of money... Wow!!! i wish i had rm3000 just for shopg only ..just buy all new hot clothes...huhuhu nway thats all for this evening later i will update more huhu..
MISS U 'bdk kecik' nnt i call u k <3

jht!!mkn lunch pun nk tiru :P
dah la letk pict i as walpaper

feeling so lazy!!

so this is what i eat for dinner today ni first time mkn Nasi bandaraya yg dah 5 sem kat sini br mlm ni nk try ..k la ...KENYANG kowt!!penuh perut nmpk jer sket tp coz siap ngn lauk skali so kenyg ah...dinner ngn pain,nad,ora,zetty,mus,afdhal n penta...hahah the funny thing is sblm nk kuar mkn ... i wear a pj shirt then bdk2 gelak diorg ckp nmpk cam bdk tadika huhu tp xsempt nk take pict la lak...huhu nway pastu tukr la baby-t zetty huhu...mls kowt ...

ari yg sgt mls da la ponteng cls tax pg td..huhu
"dia" siap dah kejutkan dah pg td...early in the morning kul 6lbh kowt xingt time tu mamai lak "dia" call nk wish good morning then dah siap suh bgn mandi sume but mood malas giler pg td..padahal keje dah siapkan smlm hehe after that tutup mata blk n take my warm blanket n closed my eyes again ...pastu i called him back at 11 while im on my bed pastu we talk...hheheh suke nyer biler dia ckp im miss comel hehe he love to hear my voice...he said that im funny..is it? hahah...he said im naughty but only for that morng ...naughty camner..ntahla heheeh ssshhhh!!only him know..huhu biasa2 je la..suke kaco dia !!!i call him "bdk kecik" hehe

the feeling i had to u hopefully will last forever...eventhough kiter br knl but hope we can be fwen till forever i pun xnk ltk pape harapan sgt...dah phobia with this game...i suke u bkn sbb paras rupa u eventhough muke u nmpk cam bdk kecik hehe i ske u bkn sbb harta u walaupun u naik kete sorong jer hehe i ske u bkn sbb pandai which cgpa u lagi tgi dr i i bkn ske u sbb u lagi muda dr i doesnt mean i ni tua sgt ..matured jer haha i bkn ske u sbb u ske puji i ...i pun xtau np u ske sgt puji i...but i ske cr u lyn i...u respect i...bkn sbb nk kn bdn i jer..or nk mgtl jer...tp u ske n u comfort kwn ngn i so pun ske kwn ngn u...
eventhough kiter xdeclare pape but allthis is just a feeling ...n i xnk hrp pape nnt takut hati i berkecai lagi...k...huhu
so now goodnyte world let us sleep n have a new bright day for tomorrow!just like today!!

only hope

damn!!! benci giler when everytg i had plan xjadi!!! punya la xsabar nk jumpa dia ths weekend nk gi beli phn ..eventhough murah jer but the things is nk beli ngn dia then nk gi watch movie transformer lak !!!damn!!!y!!!! i hate UITM!! its just because of that PPP dia xle nk gi dah ...huhuhu ak ni pun satu luper lak dia junior xsama tarikh ppp ngn ak huhu so everything just left hope nk jmp next week ...but still ARGHHH!!! k fine...then dah plan ngn my fwen lak nk gi PP this friday ...k xpe la nk wat camner...huhu td nk mkn pun xder mood but still hbs mkn gak la hahha n wat tax pun camtu je la...mn xphm trs mls nk pahamkan huhu

a crazy ppl with awesome day...

huhu last saturday...kitorg gi gambg ...gambar ni suku jer among yg gi...we had fun playing at water park ...mcm2 bnd happen tudung tercabut la..selipar tertinggal la...abg askar kaco ler..hahah...mcm2...xsilap sume skali 15 kowt yg gi...in this pict (from left)..ayu,zetty,mimiey and pain...

 the place was awesome...dkt surau blkg tu lawa...sdp jer mata memandang ...cewah hahahhah...ayt xleh blah huhu nway ...

xbnyk pict leh tgkp coz bz playing....we finish playing at water park around 4 something...then sume gerak mkn kat ner eyk..lupe dah huhu

 this pict was taken right before we go for dinner...this building is just right beside sblm msk gambang  ....

huhu so ni jer dinner for that day ...nasi putih sayur kangkong belacan daging merah n tomyam campur...then after we had dinner ...ktrg sume gi solt maghrib n trs blk...huhu...

a love that is hard to find

since  i was a little kid i never felt a love that people always appreciate and a pure love that people always remember... losing a mother is the most sad thing happen in my life...but He loves her more than i do... and now only hope for love from a dad ...but then its all just a dream.... hoping for him to call he never do...hoping for him to say hi...quite impossible ...i hada father which i felt i never had.. im not saying a bad things bout him..but is it so hard to have his love towards his own child?? its not that i never tried ..but i have tried a million times...i called him he never asnwer i text him he never reply...doesnt he realise that he still have a child ...or he just forgotten???

well actually i am jealous ...jealous of seeing  any parents send their children to collage or school ..jealous of hearing a conversation of my fwen n with their parents..a sound of happy ...mad ...towards their parents ..a sound of love towards their parents....a sound that its hard for me to have one ...i wish i will find that love someday ... to felt it the joy n love from my own father........

the new leaf

is been years i never meet a guy like him..i shouldn't make a quick assumption coz i just knew him for about 3days but the thing is i never meet a guy such a caring like him ... 

o felt so happy n joy when i skype with him... hear his voice...be4 this i never believe that love is exist ..n i never believe that love can be so sweet ... after he come into my life i learn a new things which no one ever taught me before....